


It Takes...

by redskittles30



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:54:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redskittles30/pseuds/redskittles30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone... but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”<br/>― Kahlil Gibran</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Minute, One Hour, Intrigued

**Author's Note:**

> I started this with one vision, and then it went a different way. So let's see how this goes together. Hopefully you enjoy! Each chapter will be relative to each part of the quote with a few chapters of fun in between. Except chapter 1is part one and two combined of the quote and it's pretty short but will grow. Feedback welcomed. Don't be too mean :P

It was the same routine. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakast, head to practice. I never got tired of it. Soccer was the most important thing to me along with God and my family. Everything seemed to fade away once my cleats hit that field. Whether it was training and practice or game day, nothing was more important than that field. My teammates were great. The bonds I've made have transformed into my second family. I did love the rest days though. That's when I would spend most of my time at the beach and surfing. Life was great and God has really blessed me. What more could I ask for?

\--------------------

The day started the same. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. Grabbing my practice stuff and throwing it into my bad, I grabbed breakfast from the kitchen and started my day. I was excited to get to practice, I always was. I pulled up to the field, entered the lockeroom and headed to my locker. I changed into practice gear, threw my stuff in the cubby and sat on the bench next to Cheney and A-rod. We were talking amongst ourselves and cracking jokes when the lockerroom doors opened. We didn't pay any attention because players are constantly coming in and out of the doors. That's when Pia cleared her throat and we all looked up. I focused my eyes and internally gasped. Not because of Pia, but to the right of her.

There stood a girl with a well toned and muscular body that had to be a few inches taller than me. Long brown hair with highlights was pulled back into a ponytail complete with a pink pre wrap headband. Big bright blue eyes as clear as the blue-est ocean peered around the room with a nervous but friendly smile. I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor.

Pia then interrupted my thoughts. "Girls, this is our newest addition to our family. This is Alex Morgan."

Everyone smiled and greeted the girl who happily replied back as I still stood in my spot. I shook out of my thoughts and approaced the girl.

"Yo, I'm Tobin. I'm a middy." I smiled and extended my hand out to her.

"Hey, I'm Alex but you know that already. I'm a forward." She replied with a giggle and oh my that raspy voice and giggle. She reached out and shook my hand and I internally yelped at the shock I felt bolt through me at the touch. I don't think she noticed but we held our postion for a few seconds.

I cleared my throat and let go but flashed my mega watt chill smile, "Welcome Alex." I turned and went back to my cubby. Damn I was crushing hard and I had just met the girl.

\-------------------

Practice was about to start and I was the last one out on the field which is different than me normally being the first out there. My mind was clouded  with thoughts of the new girl and I couldn't shake it. KO had already engulfed Alex in conversation so I grabbed a ball and headed over towards Cheney and A-rod. We started doing our drills and I kept sneaking glances at Alex. The girl was skillful I must admit. All the tricks she was doing with her feet were flawless and seemed to be second nature and effortless to Alex. It was mesmorizing.

We split into teams and did a little 6 vs 6. I've been known to be one of the craftiest players on the field and of course the nutmeg queen, but this girl was different. The way she would attack the ball and then cross to another player. As soon as the ball left her possession, she would sprint forward with a burst of speed to be met again with the ball. Once met with the ball, she would suavely manouver around defenders and powerkick the ball effortless into the back of the net. I stood there for a second while Hope collected the ball from the net. I knew I was gawking but who wouldn't. Did I mention flawless?

Practice ended and Pia gave her ususal encouraging speech. She dismissed us to the lockerroom and we all headed back. I had to know more about this girl. Something about her was so intriguing and I want more. I took a deep breath and walked over to Alex.

"Hey Alex, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up tomorrow. Maybe grab some coffee and hang out. Do you like coffee? We can do something else. And even though we don't have practice maybe you can show me some of those crazy tricks you brought to the field." I nervously sputtered and internally winced on how dumb I probably sounded. Whoa, since when do I care how I sound?

All Alex did was giggle at me but then beamed an adorably huge smile at me. "That sounds great Tobin. Sure you can handle my awesome tricks? And yes I do like coffee. I'm actually kind of a coffee addict, shhh don't tell anyone." This girl. Wow, just wow.

"Great. Here's my number. I'll take down yours, and I'll text you later."

"Sounds good! See you Tobin." And with that we turned to separate and get ready to go home. I definitely like this girl.


	2. One Day To Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took one day to fall. Just ONE..... Day out with Tobin and Alex. NOTE: Some facts are true and some are made up to go along with the story.

After practice I had thrown my stuff on the floor and collapsed on my bed. I stretched out and turned on the tv and my mind started to wander. Practice had been more enjoyable than usual. I had no doubt that was thanks to a certain brunette with piercing blue eyes. Easy there killer, you don't know much about her. I dont know how long I was thinking but I certainly didn't realize I had fallen asleep. When I woke up I was confused by the darkned room only lit by the glow of the tv that I had put on earlier. Yawning and stretching, I felt for my phone and read the clock.

"IT'S 7:30 PM?!" I shrieked to no one since I was alone and shot up in bed. Oh man, I have been out of it for 5 hours and haven't gotten a chance to text Alex. Was it too late? Would she see it as rude that I'm texting her this late and expecting her to be free? Don't be silly Tobs. It's only 7:30 AND she already agreed at practice to hang out with you tomorrow. Keep it calm, cool and collected. Okay. Calm.

But I wasn't calm. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding against my chest. I grabbed my phone, took a deep breath, and typed away.

_**Tobin: Hey, it's Tobin. Are you excited for tomorrow?** _

_**Alex: Hey! Yeah I'm pretty excited. When are we meeting up?** _

_**Tobin: I was thinking around 2pm. I know this great place. Would it be easier if I picked you up? It doesn't matter to me.** _

_**Alex: Well I would hate to be a bother. I can meet you wherever.** _

_**Tobin: Don't be silly. See you at 2 tomorrow. Just send me your address. Good night Alex. See you tomorrow!** _

_**Alex: Great! It's 13 Apple Orchard Way. Good Night!** _

Well great. It's 1:30 am and all I can manage to do is toss and turn and roll around. I'm so excited but nervous at the same time to spend the day with Alex. Keep it together Heath! It's just 2 potential friends hanging out. You can do this. You are a people person and she must like you enough to want to get to know you. She did agree to hang out with only knowning your name and field postion on the same team. I finally willed myself to relax enough to fall asleep. When my eyes opened back up, it was 7:15 am. This is as good as I am going to get. I dragged myself out of bed and jumped in the shower. I let the hot water engulf me and try to relax me and calm my nerves. Why was I so nervous? I have made friends before. I have plenty to show so why was this is one girl holding such weight. Maybe I was just nervous because we weren't really friends yet. I don't know. UGH! I got out of the shower and dressed. I grabbed a banana and plopped on the couch turning sports center on. After watching tv for a while I noticed the  clock read 1:30. It will only take me 20 to get to her according to the directions I looked up last night but I guess being early won't hurt. I grabbed my wallet and keys and headed towards my car.

20 minutes later I had reached Alex's apartment. Now the dilemma; go and get her or just text her that I was there. I decided to just text her and wait for her in the car. 3 minutes later, Alex emerged from her house and bounced toward the car.

"Hey! I'm glad you found it okay. I'm excited for today!" She greeted me with that adorable smile.

"Me too. TO THE COFFEE SHOP!" I pumped out of my first like I was leading my army into battle and was rewarded with a laughing Alex beside me. We drove in silence to the shop with nothing around us but the radio. It was oddly comfortable and not awkard whatsoever. Finally I pulled up the shop, parked the car, and we headed inside. After ordering our stuff, we chose an open table by the window and sat down.

"So Alex, tell me about yourself. Give me all the gossip."

"Well I grew up in California. I have 2 sisters. I'm pretty competitive and I love Monopoly Deal. Not to toot my own horn but it is hard to find someone that can match my skills in the game. I love soccer and have been playing since I was little. I graduated from University of California a year early with a degree in Political Econ. Other than that I love being with friends. Now that you know me, what's the mystery that is Tobin Heath?"

"Well that wasn't gossip at all! But I'll let it slide. I grew up in New Jersey with 2 sisters and a brother. I graduated from UNC with a degree in communications. I will match and kick your butt in Monop Deal and god and soccer are my life along with friends and family. Not really much of a mystery" I just shrugged my shoulders but flashed my mega watt smile.

We kept our back and forth up for an hour before we decided to head out. There was a beautiful park about 10 mins away so we decided to go there and just chill. We walked along the paved paths lined with green grass and huge oak trees. Little kids were running around playing all sorts of games while other park goers where just out enjoying themselves. We found a bench facing the water of the lake that took dominace in the middle of the park and just talked some more. We were quickly becoming comfortable enough to pass the lines of new friends and it felt like we've known each other for years with the way we were talking. I learned that she was afraid of the dark so she slept with the tv on. She hates sleeping alone so she cuddles up with a stuffed bear that an ex-boyfriend gave her. Yeah. She has ex BOYfriends. Well that sucks. Anyways,  she told me that she used to feel a little weird holding onto the bear cause she felt like she was holding onto memories with the ex, but she just couldn't get rid of the bear. She was okay with it after she realized there were no emotional ties to said ex. After a while she told me she felt like she was talking way too much about herself and apologized. Then she told me she was interested in my life and persuaded me to open up. I was a little nervous but somehow Alex calmed me. So I spoke: I told her that it's okay to be afraid and I sleep with the tv on because even though I am not afraid of the dark, I have to fall asleep to the tv bc I think to much and never can go to bed in the silence and complete darkness. I told her about the time I fell off my surf board trying to show up my friend and ended up breaking it in half. I told her I loved the beach and would often just go there to think. She smiled at that. Told me she did the same and the sight and sound of waves  crashing against the surf took her to a calming place when life was just too ridiculous sometimes. We continued to talk for a long time. Revealing everything stupid and important to each other that we would allow the other to hear. I hadn't realized how long we were out there until I took a quick glance at my phone.

"WOW! It's already almost 8:30. We've been here literally talking for hours! I am so sorry to just keep you here rambling on and on. Shall we get going?" I offered my hand to help her up after I stood up myself.

She took my hand and flashed me a smile as she stood up. "Don't be sorry. I had a lot of fun. Let's go."

We jumped back into my car and turned on the radio. The drive back was silent since we both were talked out. We pulled up to the front of her apartment and I put the car in park.

"Well here we are! I hope you had fun today. I know I did. It's always great to make new.. friends? That is if you wanna hang out with me again. I can be a good friend. I'm a little cool, and I am always down for road trips, and I love to eat." I laughed nervously as I watched her shift in her seat.

"Tobin I think we are gonna be the best of friends! It was great to unwrap a little of the mystery of the great Tobin Heath." She leaned over the center console and wrapped me in a tight hug. She then leaned in and breathed in my ear, " But seriously, I had so much fun today. Probably the most fun in a while. Thank you so much. This is gonna be one amazing ride playing soccer beside you, and making adventures off the field with you." She let go and leaned back flashing the biggest smile I had ever seen another person wear. "Good night Tobs. See you at practice tomorrow." And with that she got out of the car and walked to her apartment; but not before turning around and flashing me another smile and wave before entering the house.

I put the car in drive and headed towards my apartment. Despite the big cheesy smile on my face, a realization hit me. DAMN. I think I just fell for number 13 with the brightest blue eyes and beaming smile.


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession time!

That day in the park oh so long ago branded a permanent memory in my brain. A year and two months to be exact. Sure meeting Alex that day in the lockeroom on her first visit was our first contact, but our first memory will go down in the books as the park. All the secrets spilled going no further than the 5 feet around us on that park bench. I remember everything about that day. But two things will always shine brighter than every detail shared between two of us. The first is the hug of promise to be best friends. The promise of on field thrills and the excitement of off field adventures. The second? The moment she smiled and waved at me goodbye. For as I pulled away from the curb and drove down the road, I realized I had fallen for forward number 13.

The past year has been exactly what Alex had said that day in the park. All the soccer practices and games, all the adventures, all the ups and downs, it has been one hell of a ride. I've learned to kick the thoughts of Alex out of my head for the sake of the friendship  because as true as you can be to that cliche, I rather have Alex in my life as my best friend than not in my life at all. So for the sake of the friendship, best friends it is. Nothing more. Nothing less. Easier said than done... and not just on my part. It may just be my wishful thinking, but as the friendship grew into what it is now, Alex seemed to change a little. More hugs, lingering touches, cuddling on the couch, cuddling on the bed; any excuse for physical contact. Out of the corner of my eye, sometimes I would catch her looking at me. Then she would look away and pretend something else had her attention when I would focus my attention on her. Remember the little tid bit that she hated to sleep alone so she cuddled with a bear? Now 3 times a week she is at my apartment for a sleepover because she hates to sleep alone and she can never rest easy. So those sleepover nights she would plop herself next to me, and rest her head on my shuloulder. Not to bad right? Then how do I explain when I wake up in the middle of the night and she is cuddled close into my side, head on my chest and arm slung loosely over my waist? The mornings would always be the same. Always adorable. Always nice. Always tortue. She would slowly open her eyes, mumble a sleepy good morning to me, yawn, and snuggle in closer. So now I find myself reevaluating the defintion of best friends.

"Tobs? Tobin? Toooooobiiiiinnnnn!" Alex waved her hands in front of my face.

"Huh? Yeah what's up?"

"Where's your head at? You seem miles away deep in thought."

"Oh nothing. Just spacing. You know I do that a lot" I giggled half heartedly and put a smile on.

"Tobs, I know you a lot better than that. What's up?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry Lex." I tried my best to make that sound as sincere as I could and turned my attention to the tv.

"Hey Tobs, please look at me." She placed her hand on my cheek and turned my face towards her. "What's going on in the pretty head of yours?" I looked up and made eye contact with those beautiful piercing blue eyes pleading back at me. Big mistake.

I looked down and took a deep breath and let it out. I looked back up at Alex. "You kept your word from that day you know."

Alex furrowed her eyebrows at me. "Huh?"

"That day in the park. You said we were going to be the best of friends. You kept your word."

"Oh, well yes I did. You're the best best friend ever. But why do you look so far away?"

It was now or never. "Lex, you are the best person I have ever met. I am so glad to have met you. You can read me like an book. You know me better than I know myself. Well that is so cheesey and cliche. But that's what you do to me. You know my moves before I even know them myself and you always know what to say to make me feel better. I couldn't imagine my life without you. That day in the park was amazing. Using your words, "I unwrapped the mystery of Alex Morgan." After that day and up until now, it has been one hell of a ride. However, right now I'm lost and conflicted. When I dropped you off that night, I realized something. I realized that 13 was my favorite number. I realized that the shade of blue your eyes are are my favorite color. I realized that I had fallen hard for forward number 13. I pushed the feelings out of my head for the sake of the friendship. This friendship means more to me than anything. Lately though, I have felt something shift in you. I don't know if it is wishful thinking on my part or if it is true, but I feel like there has been a shift in you. It drives me crazy because I used to read you so well. Now sometimes I find myself struggling to figure you out. So if you could shed some light on that, it would great. And I would accept any kind of feedback. If my suspicions of this change in you are wrong, I can accept that and stay your best friend if this confession didn't freak you out. I just need you to say something. Anything." I held my breath and stared at Alex. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but no words came out.

"Lex please say something."

Nothing.

"Alex."

Nothing.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just lied and said I wasn't feeling good. No, because I can't lie to you. You would figure me out. But I don't want to lie to you. Please don't be mad. I'm sorry I should hav-"

"Did you know 13 + 17 = 30?"

"What? Why are you giving me a math lesson?"

"My number is 13 and yours is 17. If you put them together, they equal 30." I just started at her dumfounded. WHY was she giving me this lesson. I hate math and she is giving me a math lesson. FOCUS HEATH! I looked back up to be met with a huge toothy grin and bright blue eyes.

"Tobin it is sort of a metaphor. If you put our numbers together, you get 30... the sum of you and me. Tobin you are my best friend and I knew something was different even by our first interaction in the lockeroom the day I was introduced to the team. I just didn't know what it was back then. I have had time to think about it, and now I know what that is. Tobin Heath, you have been by my side and my rock ever since I met you. These were the best times of my life and you never cease to surprise me. I first realized during practice for the friendly against Canada. I was doing laps with Syd while you and Cheney were doing passing drills. As I was nearing you and Cheney, you saw me and made a really goofy face at me. It made me laugh and I stuttered in my step and tripped. You were by my side a minute later. I fell for you Tobin. LITERALLY. We really are one in the same. I thought there were times you would act a certain way towards me but I chalked it up to my wishful thinking. Turns out, I wasn't so wrong after all. I love you Tobin. I don't know where we go from here, but with you, I am not afraid of the unknown. You're my ride or die."

I just stared. No. I gawked. I was utterly shocked and didn't know if this was all real or a dream. I literally pinched my under arm to make sure this was real. I blinked a few times and sighed. A sigh of contentness. A sigh of relief. And then a wave of joy and utter happiness rushed over me.

I broke out into a wide grin. "30 might be my second favorite number."

"That's the conclusion you came up with after all that?!" She just stared disbelieving.

I just laughed and leaned in and pressed our lips together. It was hesitant at first. Then slowly we synced up into perfect rhythm. I snaked my hand around the side of her neck and lightly held her there. She wrapped her arms my neck and tangled her hands in my hair. After a few minutes, we pulled apart and rested our foreheads together.

"Alex Morgan, you are my ride or die. Let's start a new adventure."

"I am in it for the long haul babe."


	4. Build Me Up, Tear Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise.

The past two years have been nothing short of amazing. There is nothing else to describe it. A few weeks after the night of confessions, I asked Alex to move in with me. She was basically living at my apartment anyway so I figured there would be no harm. Yes it seemed fast, but she was already here 5 nights a week and even had a drawer of clothes and a toothbrush here. After moving in indefinitely, the thrill came in full force. After months in the apartment, we decided to upgrade to a wonderful beach front apartment in Santa Monica. Playing house with Alex was second nature. Grocery shopping to stock the house, doing laundry, cooking dinner together; it all was easy and very fun. We had fallen into the perfect routine. Alex would wake up before me so she was the coffee maker. I would wake up to the smell of the fresh brew and wander into the kitchen with sleepy eyes. She would smile at me and greet me with a kiss and then we would decide on breakfast and cook together. After breakfast we would clean up together and just lay around for a while until duty called. Her usually going off for some promotion or Nike shoot and me either spending time with Kelley, surfing, or doing a few promotions here and there. Alex was always the busier one; But what would you expect from the up and coming new face of Women's Soccer? Alex would come home later than me. She would come find me and greet me with a kiss. We would discuss dinner plans and get ready according to said plans. Whether it would be cooking together and having a nice meal in, or showering and getting ready for a night out. Every day ended in the best way. My favorite way to end a day: cuddled up with Alex until sleep took over. Yes, playing house with Alex, my wonderful girlfriend, was simply the best.

"Babe I'm home, you here?" I walked to the island counter, set my keys down and thumbed through the mail.

"Lex?" I finished looking through the mail and set it down for Alex to look through. That's when a note caught my eye.

**_Hey Babe! Had to do a Nike shoot. Be back for dinner. Love you. <3 Alex._ **

I guess I have some time to kill. After showering and throwing on shorts and a tshirt, I plopped on the couch and scanned the channels. Arsenal was playing Everton so I decided to sprawl out and catch up on my boys. Somewhere in the second half I must have fallen asleep.

"Pssst. Tobs baby. Wake up, I'm home." I stirred and sleepily rubbed my eyes and opened them to look up and meet my favorite baby blues.

"Hey Lex. I missed you." I smiled and sat up to meet Alex halfway to a kiss.

"Mmm, I missed you too." She smiled into the kiss and cuddled into my side. "What do you wanna do for dinner? Do you wanna stay in or go out?"

"I say we order Chinese, pop in a movie, and more of this cuddle buisness. What do you think?"

"I am totally okay with that. I'm gonna go change into comfortable clothes. Order me my regular and I'll meet you right back here."

After a few kisses, Alex got up to change and I went in search of the menu. I ordered our food and turned around to see Alex had come back clad in one of my old UNC tshirts and a pair of my boxers.

"I'm pretty sure those are my clothes." I laughed as I tilted my head to the side and cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah well your clothes are more comfortable than mine." She grinned at me.

"It's okay. I actually like seeing you in my clothes. It's hot." Wiggling my eyebrows, I moved over to her and leaned in for a kiss. It was an innocent kiss to show my approval; we both didn't expect to get lost in it. Alex wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her hands in my hair. My hands moved down to her sides as I lightly clutched at her hips. With a gental squeeze, Alex moaned into the kiss and bit down gently on my lower lip. Soon things started to heat up, and I walked backwards until my knees hit the couch and I fell back pulling her into my lap. As she shifted her weight and straddled my lap, Mr. Delivery Man decided to have a say in the matter. I groaned as Alex pushed off of me.

She leaned down and grazed my ear and hot breath tickled me. "We'll continue this later."

Alex paid for the food, got us waters, and rejoined me on the couch. We turned on MTV and watched Ridiculousness as we ate and laughed. With dinner long over, we found ourselves still watching repeats of Ridiculousness as we cuddled under a blanket. It was getting pretty late and we decided to turn finally turn in. I told Alex to go ahead to the bedroom as I locked everything up and turned off all the lights. Despite Alex being in the bedroom first, I was ready for bed first. Typical Alex to take forever even when she is just going to bed. Waiting patiently in bed, my love finally came in and as I pulled the blankets back, she straddled my waist.

"I think we have some unfinished business." She whispered seductively in my ear.

I sighed heavily as I was almost immediately turned on. "Yes we do."

\--------------------

***Months later***

"Babe I have a Nike shoot and then I have to meet Aaron at his office and dicuss my deal with Chapstick. I won't be back til later tonight so you are on your own for dinner."

"You've been gone a lot lately." I pointed out.

"I know Tobs, but you know this is how it is. So many obligations. I know it's been hard but it will die down soon and I'll have some time off and it will just be you and me."

"You say that, but it seems like there is never more than a day off here and there."

"It will get easier. It's a busy time right now, and I promise it will be calm again soon."

"It's always a busy time.You're always doing something that Aaron sets up for you. You are either out doing Nike shoots, shooting some kind of commerical, or interviewing. I love Kelley don't get me wrong, but I have seen her more in the past month than I have seen my own girlfriend!" I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I'm irritated. I miss my girlfriend and would like to see her for more than an hour a day.

"You knew about this before we started dating Tobin. You never seemed to have a problem with it. You were always supportive. You knew my rising name and you still chose this! You chose US!"

"That's the problem! I choose US. Lately, you're the one choosing everything but us! It's like all these meetings and promotions mean more than me."

"Don't. Don't you dare say that I choose everything over us. Yes, I have been more busy but you know with my credit as the rising star and new face of Women's Soccer that I would be more busy. But just because I am busy and have a lot obligations, doesn't mean I don't miss you. Do you think I like missing dinner with you? Do you think I like going hours and hours without seeing you? Do you think that I'm satisfied with only being able to send a few texts on a quick break before my next meeting? The fact that I come home and see you for a limited amount a time before I go to sleep is enough? NO. I miss everything but it will have to do for now. Coming home to you, seeing that goofy smile that I fell in love with, and falling asleep with you makes everything worth it."

Alex is livid and shaking and her beautiful eyes are now glistening with tears threating to fall. And now I feel like a jerk. I reach out and wince when she pulls back. I try again and this time she doesn't pull away. I wrap her in a hug.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I should be more supportive. I just miss you. I may be living my DREAM by playing for the best soccer team in the world. But I'm living my LIFE with the most beautiful girl in the world." Alex seems to soften. She hugs back but then I'm cold.

"We'll talk about this later. I have to go." With that she picked up her keys and purse, and walked out the door.

Shit, she is still mad. I've mentioned once or twice before that I don't like all the traveling, but it never escalated this much. I'll call Kelley and she'll distract me for a while. She is awesome at keeping me entertained and happy. She is also good at helping me apologize when I am an idiot.

***Later That Night***

Alex hadn't talked to me for the whole day. After hanging out with Kelley for a while, I felt a little better and decided to go home. Once I got home I tried my luck and texted Alex.

_Tobin: Hey love. Just wondering when you were coming home. Miss your beautiful face :)_

_Alex: I'll be home in an hour. Miss you too._

Okay, so It seems  a little forced but it's a start. Hopefully we can get over this when she gets home. I hate fighting; not my style.

An hour later Alex walked into the apartment. I had been distracting myself with sports center and thinking of our arguement. I mulled over it and realized that even with all this distance, Alex does come home to me. She hates it just as much as me. Maybe I should show her more of my support and that I really am proud of her and just want her happy. I got up to greet her.

"Hey, I missed you. I'm really sorry about earlier." I wrapped my arms around her waist and was a little surprised when her arms wrapped around my neck and she nuzzled her head in the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry too" she breathed. "I understand that it is hard for you and it basically comes down to you just missing me. But you have to realize Tobin that I am doing this to make me happy and to make things happy for us as well. I love my connection with soccer and I love my connection to you. I'm trying to balance both the best I can. I just need you to trust and support me."

I pulled back a little to stare into her eyes and I saw that her eyes have softened and turned an almost shade of gray with sadness. I melted. "Alex I am so sorry that I was selfish and thought I was the only one hurting in all this. I always have and always will support you in everything you do. I know it is extremely hard for you to be away, but I also know and really do realize that it is what you have to do. Please forgive me for not always showing my supportive side because I am and I am extremely proud of what you have accomplished so far. I love you babe. You have done great things and will continue to do great things and I will be here every step of the way.

I don't think I have ever seen Alex smile so brightly at me. "Tobin you have no idea how much that means to me. And I'm sorry too. I know this is just as hard on you and you hate being away from me. I love you too. And I missed you terribly today despite being extremely mad at you." I just smiled at her and wrapped her tight in a hug.

"I have a surpise for you." I perked up at this. "After being initially mad at you, I got to thinking after my first meeting. I realized that all of these things Aaron has been setting up, we did lose site of us. So I talked it over with him and came to an agreement. I have a few interviews and appearances in the next few days, all local, and then I have a few days off. He is not going to book anything, and you have me all to yourself. I say the first day, we don't leave home. No scratch that. We don't leave the bedroom. Movies and cuddles all day! And maybe some other things." She winked at the last part.

I jumped up excitedly and kissed her with a little sense of urgency. "I love you so much right now."

\--------------------

The past 4 days have been surprisingly amazing. After fixing things with Alex, she has been dong everything she can to assure me that I will always be number one to her. I can't tell you have appreciative I am. Alex has managed to be home every night for dinner, text me whenever she can, and made me feel like I did the first day we got the keys to our new apartment. Just two more days and I have her all to myself. Life is good.

"Whatcha thinking about?" I looked over to see Alex looking at me quizzically.

"Our soon to be adventure." I smiled brightly at her and she hummed in approval.

RING. RING.

"Excuse me babe it's Aaron." I nodded and got up to clean the dishes as she left to talk on the phone.

I finished cleaning up and realized that Alex hadn't returned from the phone call. Closing the dishwasher and drying my hands, I headed to the bedroom. As I neared the room, I noticed the door slightly ajar. I quietly crept up and caught the tailend of the convo.

"You knew how important this was. No I don't care. There's nothing else? Very well. I will call you in the morning." I heard her sigh and sit on the bed. What was that about? Waiting a few seconds, I knocked on the door and pretended I had just gotten there.

"Lex, you off the phone?"

"Huh? Yeah I just got off actually." I pushed the door open and leaned against the frame.

"You look you upset. Everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Lex, you're talking to me here." I moved to sit next to her and wrapped an arm around her. "What's wrong baby girl?."

She rested her head on my shoulder. "Aaron told me that Nike needs me at their headquarters to dicuss the new line of Nike Pro sportswear. They can't reschedule because of the time line for the release of the line."

"Oh."

"What are you thinking?"

"I guess Nike needs you." I stiffened and got up to move but she grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry Tobs, but there is nothing I can do. They are on a timeline. I know we were both looking forward to us time but we can have that when I come back."

"Until the next important thing comes up and we have to cancel... again." Damn, I didn't mean to say that outloud.

"Tobin you know I am under contract."

"Oh trust me. I know. You're under contract with Nike. You're wanted for this appearance. You're wanted for that interview. Chapstick wants your lips. And you give yourself to them. I want you for a few days to myself and you can't give yourself to me... YOUR GIRLFRIEND." I gritted my teeth and I knew that I needed to control myself otherwise this was going to get ugly real fast.

"We've been over this before about the whole obligation thing. I am sorry. I was prepared to not book anything and not care but Nike is my biggest sponser. And it's not like it's just an interview or to discuss new branches. This is a timed release memo. That changes the priority level and I have to go. But as soon as I get back, we ca-"

"No Alex! The level of priority does change but it's not Nike's. It's my level that changes. I am sick of being the lowest on the toteum pole for you. It's always something else over me. And yeah I don't doubt that you care about me and that you miss me, but it only can go so far. Words only go so far. You know the cliche actions speak louder than words? Well your actions are screaming at me. Screaming at me that I will potentially always be on the back burner!

"Tobin I've told you before that it was going to be extremely hard! But it will be worth it in the end!"

"Yeah, because falling asleep with me will make it all worth it. Save it. You know what makes it all worth it. When you try and put the effort in to just once in your god damn world to put your girlfriend first over everything else. I may be a little selfish and want you all to myself for a few days, but it is very selfish of you to not try to make one commitment to me over your job commitments."

"Well I am sorry that I have a rising name to fulfil. And what about you. You have job obligations too. And you have a deal with Playmaker Nutrition."

"You can't use that against me. That's like one to your hundred other things. And I still make time for you. I tell Playmaker I am not available for anything on the weekends. Do you know why? Because I know that the weekend is the best time to relax. And that you are usually more inclined to have a day off or leave early on a project. And I don't budge. That is my commitment and sacrafice for you. How stupid of me to think you would ever do the same." I'm livid and I can't control the word vomit. Months and months of choked back feelings coming up and spilling out a mile a minute.

"Well I am sorry that I'm the face of Women's Soccer. Do you not understand the extreme amount of pressure that holds. I have an image to uphold. I am in the line with the greats. Look at Mia Hamm. Look at Hope. Look at Abby. They are all superstars and I am slowly creeping up into the starlight of the greats. It's an extreme amount of pressure. Do you not realize? I guess not. You may be one of the crafiest midfielders, but you have not spent nearly as much time in the spotlight as me. You don't know the pressure of being the star forward! It's exhausting!"

I was dumbfounded. Did she really pull that card? Just because I don't know have the same spotlight as her? I hate being in the spotlight. I don't let the media get into my head. When I am on the soccer field, the only thing important is winning. My self image in not nearly as important as the team image. I love soccer, and just wanna be the best and be part of the best team. A TEAM EFFORT. Not a selfish person who is always in the spotlight and wants to be the best for different reasons.

"No it's okay Alex. I'm the one who is sorry. I am sorry that I thought you were different. I am sorry that I thought you actually cared about me as much as I care about you. I'm sorry I thought I meant more to you than I actually do. Who knew that those beautiful eyes held so much judgement and false reassurance. I may not be the face of Women's Soccer and I may not be in the spotlight, but you know something? I don't care. I hate the spotlight. What is important to me is soccer and being part of the team that is ranked number one in the world as a WHOLE. Not because of one person."

"Tobin I-"

"NO! I loved you Alex. I still love you. I tried everything I can but it is so hard. I can't be mad at you for following your dreams. I can't stare into those blue eyes and not melt everytime. I can't hold you and not feel safe. Everything about you makes me better. I just wish everything about me could have made you at least better enough to love someone else unselfishly. To not take someone for granted. To not put them on the back burner and expect them to be okay with it. Alex, I love you but apparently that is not enough for you. And maybe not enough for me. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. Take care.... _Superstar_ _."_

And with that, I made the hardest decision I ever had to make. I turned and walked out of the apartment and away from the girl who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The girl who made me love with everything in me. I walked away from Alex Morgan.


	5. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Broken but is it fixable?

Coming home to an empty apartment is not so bad to most. A lot of people live on their own. However, an empty apartment is so much more when everything reminds you of _ **her**_. The kitchen where you would cook dinner while she sat on the counter watching you intently and curiously. You would talk about everything and nothing all at the same time. The living room where you spent your evenings cuddled on the couch watching soccer games, movies, and your favorite tv shows. The bedroom; oh the bedroom. That's where all the forbidden and locked away secrets would spill out: Your fears, your wishes, and your plans for the future as early as tomorrow and as far away as years. The bed where you would cuddle after a long day. The same bed that was so innocent yet held so many dark desires and secrets. All the times where just a simple "just because" kiss turned into a heated fury of passion and lust. She would wrap her arms around your neck and pull you down on top of her as she hooked her legs around your waist. You would get lost in her. Oh this apartment on the most beautiful beach in Santa Monica. The gorgeous ceiling to wall windows in the living room overlooking the beach and surf. All my friends love this apartment. I **_hate_** this apartment.

I did everything I could to rid her of this apartment. Everything had to change. I didn't want to move back to Jersey because I had fallen in love with the west coast and its surf. So if I wasn't going anywhere, everything else was. I painted every single wall with a new coat of paint, a light sea foam green. She would hate this color. I bought new furniture. The first thing to go was that bed. That bed was tainted with memories. It held secrets. But worst of all? It locked in that familiar coconut scent; I hate coconut now. Now my bed only smells and reminds me of my home in Jersey. Then everything came after; A new couch that didn't have the slight memory indentation of those cuddle nights. Everything from the dining room table set to the set of eating dishes was new in the kitchen. Everything was new. It was just soccer and God with me now and that is all I needed. Life is going to be good. I can do this. I will get over Alex and I can move on.

\-------------------

But I didn't move on; not entirely anyway. It's been 5 years since I walked away from Alex and 3 years since I’ve been in that apartment in Santa Monica. Now I am settled into this wonderful 2 bed, 2 bath house in San Diego. I said goodbye to soccer indefinitely 2 years after everything happened and a leg injury to follow. I have been spending my time enjoying my rest and relaxation with the beach and surfing. Oh and now I have Allison. I met her one day at a coffee shop in town. I had crashed into her and coffee went everywhere. I apologized and insisted on buying her a new coffee even after she tried to convince me it was fine. Despite the wonderful first impression we seem to hit off. She has been good to me and she even moved in with me. Things have been wonderful, consistent, and stable. It was definitely not the whirlwind and unpredictable nature that was **_her_**. That's what the problem was.

I feel like a terrible person sometimes. There are times I catch myself comparing Allison and Alex. Funny that I go for girls with the letter "A." Allison has eyes as green as the fields I used to play on. They bring comfort with them. Alex has bright blue eyes. They remind me of the freedom of the ocean I surf in. Allison has a cute gentle voice. Alex has that sexy raspy voice. I know I shouldn’t compare Allison and Alex. It's not fair to Allison. Alex is a distant memory while Allison is my life now. And it's not fair to me! I'm happy with Allison. She can possibly be the person I spend the rest of my life with. The past is the past. I used to believe everything about that quote I read so many years ago except the part of taking a lifetime to get over someone. I never thought I would ever be without Alex so there was no need to take a lifetime to get over someone. But there I was without Alex Morgan.

After the breakup, I didn't believe you could spend a lifetime getting over someone. I never dwelled on things. It's been 5 years and I'm happily committed to Allison. But I'm foolish because that's exactly the problem. 5 years and I'm still not completely over Alex. 5 years doesn’t seem like a long time at all to most. However, when you had someone like Alex Morgan come in, take over, and leave a permanent mark on your life, _on your heart_ , 5 years feels like 50 years.

Now I understand. Will I ever get over Alex Morgan? I don’t know. But I guess I have to spend a lifetime trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining the journey with me. I am so sorry about the ending and I wanted just as much as the readers to have it work out with the ladies but I decided to stay true to the quote. 
> 
> *SPOILER ALERT* I do have another fic in mind, and it just might be a sequel to this fic. Can it really be over for our ladies? Is this really the end? I don't know if I can bring myself to end our ladies on a bad note. We shall see. Thank you again and hopefully you will join me on the next adventure!


End file.
